Lady in the Water

Year: 2006
Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan
Written By: M. Night Shyamalan

RYAN’S REVIEW

Of all M. Night Shyamalan’s movies this one seems to be the most hated and that is totally understandable.  I think Shyamalan gets a bad rap because everybody goes in expecting something different and that isn’t his fault at all.  It’s the studios fault for how they market his movies, and a lot of it has to do with The Sixth Sense because everybody is looking for that same kind of shocker at the end.  This is the wrong way to enter his movies though.  His films are about human nature more than anything else, set on a strange platform that gives people the wrong impression.  This movie is about a fairy tale come to life, but it isn’t really about that fairy tale at all.  This movie is about loss and purpose.  It’s about a man lost in the world with nothing left but the next day and the jobs to keep him busy.  He is a man in secret pain and going forward only because he doesn’t know what else to do. The lady in the water is simply someone who makes him realize he still matters and gives him a place in the world again.

When I saw this movie for the first time I was in a difficult place in life.  I felt lost and without purpose myself and when I saw this movie it brought me to tears and understanding.  In the strangest way it gave me hope and the strength to keep going.  In some certain ways I am still here today because this movie gave me a reason to think that there was still purpose in life.  I don’t mean that anything about the Narf story or any of the fairy tale stuff in the movie moved me but this show of raw emotion did.  I felt this characters pain and related to it, seeing him find his own purpose in life was so motivating for me and did something to me that I can’t quite put into words.

This movie was nominated for multiple Razzie awards and actually won two.  Razzie Awards of course being the awards given to the worst movies of the year and again, I think it is understandable why it was nominated and even won.  Looking at this movie on the surface it does come across as really stupid.  You have to look past the surface in Shyamalan movies though, and nobody ever wants to do that.  Nobody wants to see the meaning within his movies they only want to “see dead people.” Shyamalan instantly became on of the biggest names in the business after he burst onto the scene with The Sixth Sense.  It was a great starting point for his career but it really just set the bar too high for his viewers.  There is an audience out there for this guys movies, I naturally include myself in it, but they aren’t the ones who he needs to impress to continue being successful.  The mass movie audience wants another shocker like the one they saw at the end of his first movie.  Those shockers haven’t been there because his movies aren’t there to shock, they are there to showcase the qualities that make us human.  Love and bravery(The Village), faith and forgiveness (Signs), good vs. evil (Unbreakable), or as we see in this movie loss and purpose in life.  If you would like to read our review of The Happening just click here. The Happening seemed to be nearly as hated as this movie but not quite.  It was enough to make the studio crack down on Shyamalan though as his next film, Devil, was made by a different director.  I did not see The Last Airbender but refuse to take anybody else’s word for it.  I do not know any other Shyamalan fans and I cannot trust their opinions without seeing for myself.  This summer he has a new movie coming out that I am really looking forward to.  After Earth features Will Smith and his son Jaden as a father son duo trying to survive on our planet that is now uninhabited by human and very dangerous. Seems like a much bigger budget movie than he usually does and I am excited by those possibilities.  No doubt most of the people that watch it will probably hate it but I insist you will have to look deeper to get the real meaning of the film. M. Night Shyamalan, if you are out there, don’t listen to the haters man.  I get what you do and appreciate all the films you make. The Village is one of my favorites and I really feel like this movie had a significant impact on my life.

I think Paul Giamatti is an incredible actor who can display a wide range of emotions. His performance in this movie was one I have always related to.  He is a character in secret pain and no longer knows what his purpose in life is.  He does a great job at a job with no real significance.  It might be significant to the people he helps but as he says in the film anybody can do the job he is doing.  He may be exceptional at it but there is nothing exceptional about the job or the place he has found himself in life.  He needs something he just doesn’t know what.  He needs a purpose, he needs to do something to prove to himself that he still matters.  It’s why he is so invested in this silly story as it unfolds, it has given him purpose and made him special. Something about seeing this man find his purpose and let go of the pain that has plagued him did something to me the first time I saw it, and it has always given this hated movie so much significance to me personally.

I am a big fan of Bryce Dallas Howard and think she is a terrific actress. I don’t think this was her best role but I think she did really well with it.  There is this quality about her performance as Story that reminds me so much of Edward Scissorhands.  I think that is appropriate as there are certain similarities to the two characters.  They are both beings in the human world for the first time and experiencing for the first time all the little things we take for granted.  She has such an emotionless expression all throughout the film too that only adds to that quality.

Shyamalan inserts himself into all his films but in this film we see him take on the largest role to date.  I didn’t think it was that bad but as people love to hate this guy it only gave them an open ended opportunity to put him down.  He won the Razzie Award for worst supporting actor and I really don’t think it was appropriate.  Yeah I can see that he isn’t a professional actor in his performance but I didn’t think he was bad enough to warrant such an award.  I think the role he plays in the story is an interesting one.  He doesn’t write a book that will influence the world simply one that will influence one specific person who will grow to change the world.  I like that idea and admittedly the idea alone made me like his character more.

I consider all criticism of this film to be truthful and honest but I just happen to see it differently.  I have explained why and also understand I am in the minority when it comes to Shyamalan films.  I think this movie was worth my time but don’t really know that I can honestly say it is worth yours. I have never met another person who enjoyed this movie and I would never recommend it to anyone simply because I don’t expect them to like it as I did.  If anybody out there had a reaction to this film similar to mine I would be really interested to hear your opinion on it.  I loved the movie, and it would be nice to know I am not the only one that did.

AMBER’S REVIEW

I wonder if anyone will even read this considering we are the only ones left on I the planet that actually like Shyamalan. I don’t know what’s right about us (see what I did there?) but we think he is really intelligent in the stories that he tells. I feel like there are very little original stories out there anymore. I feel like he does that. I think that most of his movies have been incredibly original and I appreciate that. This one is very original. It’s about a Lady who lives in the water and she is trying to get back to her world. I think it is interesting and a break from reality.

This poster is beautiful. There are so many things going on in the background. In the textures you can see shapes and forms of other things from the story. I love the hidden imagery. On top of that and more importantly to me, the typography is truly terrific. The font choice has serifs that almost flow like water. The W fits in very snugly against the L and “in the” is lightly added. I really love the coloring as well. It makes it all the more fairy-tale like and intriguing.

NEXT MOVIE: The Ladykillers (2004)

 

L.A. Confidential

Year: 1997
Directed By: Curtis Hanson
Written By: James Ellroy (novel), Brian Helgeland and Curtis Hanson (screenplay)

RYAN’S REVIEW

I consider this to be one of the best movies I have ever seen.  It is a perfect movie and that puts it in an upper echelon with only a few others.  I see this movie in the same light as The Godfather, Casablanca, or Full Metal Jacket. Movies this good suck you in and make you part of their world.  They leave an impression on you and every time you see them they get better.  This movie is a hit on all levels and it blows me away every single time I see it. I think our timing to reach this movie in the collection is awesome because coincidentally we watched Gangster Squad last night.  That movie has a very similar story line to this one and watching them back to back has given us the opportunity to accurately contrast the two. Gangster Squad wasn’t that great and specifically once put up next to this one it seems like a horrible movie. It wasn’t a horrible movie, it just simply doesn’t compare to this one in any way, shape, or form.

This movie takes place in such an interesting time and place for our country.  Having grown up and spent my entire life on the east coast I have always had a fascination with the wild wild west.  Things were always done a bit differently out there as the rest of the country and authority slowly made their way over through expansion and development.  The West might be different altogether but there is specifically something different and unique about Los Angeles, and the whole Hollywood world.  Right and wrong are different there; it’s a world influenced by corruption, glamour, and greed.  It is influenced by the people that built it and to understand that you have to understand the people that built it.  The men who built the west were men who decided to go for a hundred different reasons.  They went for opportunity, they went to build a new life, and they went for the promise of work, gold, oil, and even fame. They came from all over the country and from a large variety of backgrounds.  They built something out there and the minute others started to notice what they had done they began looking for ways to move in and take advantage of the opportunities now available there.  Well like I said, things are different in the west.  Why let mobsters move into town and run the rackets when the local authorities can simply make all that money themselves? I know that this movie is based in truth but admittedly don’t know enough about the accuracy of it.  Nevertheless it is an awesome story and one that really does garner some more research on my part, eventually.

Curtis Hanson really hasn’t made that many movies that I found impressive but his name always immediately grab my attention.  No matter what else he has done, he was the guy that made this movie and doesn’t that say everything you need to know about him? His camera work and storytelling are so incredible in this movie.  I have always admired how he leads you through the crime scene at the Night Owl and you take everything in together with Detective Exley as he investigates the crime scene.  I love what he does with these three diverse and different police officers and how he manages to make us emotionally invested in all three of them. I love the arc each one of them has as a character and I love the men who were chose to play the parts.  I think the story in this movie is fantastic.  It’s so satisfyingly violent and intelligent at the same time with a little bit of sex and scandal thrown in for good measure.  It is a story that never fails to captivate and hold my attention.  The only other movie I really liked from Hanson was 8 Mile, and that is liked only from an admitted biased opinion based on being a fan of Eminem. Like I said though, it doesn’t matter what else Curtis Hanson has done.  He did this, and that gives him credibility for a lifetime as far as I’m concerned.

When discussing the cast I want to start with Guy Pearce as Detective Exley. Not because I think he was the best, in fact I really don’t like him at all, but his performance is seriously one of the best I have ever seen.  Detective Exley isn’t a likable character and you immediately begin to despise him. As the movie progresses you can’t help but feel differently and the more you watch the more you begin to like Exley.  Pearce plays the part so well and I am literally shocked to find myself so impressed with it every time I see it. He is such a little weasel till he interrogates the Night Owl suspects.  He is such a badass in that scene he doesn’t just deserve but practically comes through the screen and demands your respect by force.  Once he establishes himself as a badass he just continues to keep it up for the whole movie.  Whether he is shooting all of the bad guys, throwing caution to the wind to do what is right, sleeping with his rival’s girlfriend, or manipulating a massacre to his own advantage he is doing it all as a badass.  I love the respect he develops for his rival Bud White and the ass whooping he accepts when he knows he has wronged him.  I have never seen another movie where I saw what Guy Pearce did and thought “wow, he really did a great job in that movie.” I simply don’t like the guy and think he brings nothing to the table.  I can’t deny him this role though; he should have been nominated for it and taken the award home with him.  If he ever showed up for work and really brought it, it was on the set of this movie.

While I am incredibly impressed by the part played by Pearce my favorite is the most popular part played in this movie, by Russell Crowe.  This was Russell Crowe’s first major American role and it set the tone for his entire career.  He has been one of the best leading men of the last fifteen years because he is an outstanding actor. In this movie he burst onto the scene with aggression and brutality.  He plays the tough guy that is underestimated by everybody and proves to be much more than meets the eye.  As the movie progresses we see that he has the intelligence and detective skills to match his brutality.  The character then goes even deeper as we learn about his past and see his softer side when he is with Lynn Bracken.  When he confronts her after finding out about her and Exley you can feel his pain as his anger gets the best of him.  Another scene in which you feel his anger is that of the interrogation scene when Exley shines.  That scene showed us two things, one being that Exley was way more badass than we thought, the other being that Bud White is every bit the badass we think he is and more. This is one of Crowe’s finest roles and I think he also should have been nominated for the part.

I am and always have been a huge fan of Kevin Spacey.  The character of Lester Burnham he would play a couple of years later taught me quite a bit about life.  I do not know what has happened to him these days though.  He is an incredible and academy award winning actor who has simply fallen off the map for some reason.  The last thing I saw him in was Horrible Bosses and it wasn’t one of his finest roles.  As Jack Vincennes he is the sleazy cop that suddenly finds purpose in himself again.  He has been dirty for so long he forgot about all the right reasons he joined the force for in the first place.  As he begins to realize those things he starts to discover the skills that got him to the top and he uses them to do the right thing.  Until doing the right thing gets him killed that is.  That’s how it happens for the bad guy that decides to do good though, it’s an irony that is worth dying for to make that character a martyr. Vincennes became a martyr and a hero with his dying breathe by finding out the cleverest way to warn Exley. All past digressions forgiven, he died a hero and might have ended up with his name plastered somewhere in the city of Los Angeles. I don’t know what has been up with Kevin Spacey but I will always have my eye on what he is doing because within him are more performances of this caliber, I know it.

The rest of the cast was just as stellar and on point as the three most important I have already discussed.  James Cromwell is a fantastic actor and can play any part in any movie.  He can do it all pretty good but it turns out he can pull off mastermind villain pretty well as we see in this film. David Strathairn plays one of his best roles as Pierce Patchett. I have always liked Strathairn; he carries an air of dignity with him that makes him great for roles like this.  I am a big fan of Danny DeVito and like what he brought to the movie as well.  I have mentioned many times that I don’t like where his career has now led him but I think for the majority of his time in the business he has been very successful.

Kim Basinger won the Academy Award for this movie and was the only one to win the award for any of the performances in the movie.  I don’t understand that and practically consider it a crime.  I think she did a good enough job as Lynn Bracken but I don’t know how her performance warranted that kind of reward when some of the others weren’t even nominated. This movie was without a doubt her greatest performance as an actress but I don’t think she had much competition from her other roles.  Basinger is one of those women who made her career on her looks and not her talent and truthfully she has just never done it for me.

I honestly believe this movie is better each and every time I watch it.  As I already said I think this is a perfect movie and the fact that it seems better every time I watch it only reinforces that opinion.  As for Gangster Squad, it just didn’t have the raw and real element that this one had.  I knew things were going to be like that when we first met Josh Brolin’s character and he “Jack Bauer-ed” a room full of armed men. It’s just a bit too over the top and unrealistic.  When Bud White got angry he whooped ass on anybody within reach but not even he would have assaulted a crime base single handedly and walked out all hunky dory.  I think Sean Penn played an exceptional part as Mickey Cohen but even he was a bit over the top and exaggerated for effect. Gangster Squad is a film for the amateur movie fan but this movie is for those of us who really appreciate the art of film making.

This is a flawless movie and is without doubt worth your time.  It isn’t a movie that gets a lot of replay on TV and it isn’t brought up on a regular basis these days.  That is a crime.  This movie deserves its own three night weekend on AMC like The Godfather gets.  It’s that good of a movie and if you haven’t seen it I suggest you seek it out and take the time to watch it.  Incredible film that will always be one of my favorites.

AMBER’S REVIEW

Ryan loves this movie and wrote a ton so in true Amber fashion, I will keep it short. This is a great crime movie. It captures your attention and keeps it throughout. The actors are perfect for their roles and do such a great job. It’s a really good flick that is definitely worth watching.

Oh no. Another poster where they are trying to fit in way too many characters. This is not very successful either. Don’t miss the faded out guy right beside the word confidential. They also cut off Basinger’s head at the top with a solid black bar for the names. Bad call. The best thing about this poster is the marketing/advertising ploy behind the whole thing. Who is the target audience for this movie? Men. What do [some] men love? Boobies. That’s all any man really needed to see to want to see this movie.

NEXT MOVIE: Lady in the Water (2006)

 

Joffrey and Sansa

Prepare for spoilers; turn back now if you don’t want to know. 

Joffrey and Sansa

One of the biggest questions coming out of last night’s episode was regarding the future of Sansa.  She has now been officially married to Tyrion but still finds herself at the mercy of Joffrey.  He is the King and as he is so fond of pointing out the King can do as he likes.  Joffrey does threaten to rape Sansa and the possibility does loom for quite some time but fortunately it does not happen.  It might have but luckily Joffrey doesn’t live long enough to make good on his threats.  Tyrion and Sansa will never consummate their marriage.  Tyrion does have the desire to do so but will not force himself on the unwilling child.  It becomes another tool for ridiculing him and until he is imprisoned for Joffrey’s death he has to shoulder the shame of not bedding his bride.

Melisandre and Gendry

The spell that Melisandre works for Stannis is more than effective; it seems there is real power in King’s blood. In the book it is not Gendry who is used but another bastard of Robert’s.  Gendry to this point still has no idea who his father was and every time you think he is about to find out he doesn’t.  He is currently still a member of the Brotherhood and working his trade making them weapons.  When Melisandre leeches Robert’s bastard they work the spell and each of the usurpers in turn dies a sudden and surprising death.  King Balon falls from a wooden bridge in his castle, lots of speculation around that death.  Joffrey is poisoned at his own wedding by the Queen of Thorns and possibly his new wife while Tyrion takes the fall. King Robb has a bloody and unfortunate death at the treacherous Red Wedding when the Freys kill him, his mother, and many many Northmen.  Of course these deaths will mean absolutely nothing for Stannis in the scheme of things.  Three Kings fall but new ones rise in each place and Stannis is no closer to achieving his goal of winning the Seven Kingdoms.

The Hound and Arya

The Hound is indeed taking Arya back to her family but they will never see each other.  They arrive during the Red Wedding but before they can enter the castle the slaughter has already started. I would like to say that I think the guy playing The Hound is really good and I like him a lot.  The only problem is he is way too nice.  The Hound is a good guy but not a nice guy.  He barely speaks to Arya at all in the book and he doesn’t tell her about saving Sansa.  Such a thing would be beneath The Hound.  Yeah he may have saved Sansa from rape before but he wouldn’t waste his breath telling Arya in an effort to achieve sympathy or compassion from her.  He doesn’t care what Ayra thinks about him and wouldn’t make any effort at all to make himself likeable.  He has spent his whole life being hated and he bears a scar people cringe away from.  He is used to being despised and prefers to be so.  I think he does have a fondness for Arya but he would never lower himself to trying to gain her respect through words.  His actions speak volumes and despite everything he does for her he is such a hateful man that she would reciprocate the feelings.

 

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Year: 2002
Directed By: Steve Oedekerk
Written By: Steve Oedekerk

RYAN’S REVIEW

Are there words to describe this movie? Is there anything I can even say about it to put into words how funny or weird it all is? I suppose I should start by simply mentioning that it came out when I was in college and I was often in the right state of mind to really enjoy it.  Some movies are made for that state of mind and this movie definitely is if I have ever seen one. You know what I’m talking about and given we have watched this movie on my birthday, which happens to be 420, I suggest this is one you see if you have celebrated the holiday on your own, or will in the future.

This is definitely one of those movies I can mention and say, “I have never seen another one like it.” This movie is a combination of new footage and Steve Oedekerk inserted into old footage from a forgotten movie called The Savage Killers. The entire movie was dubbed with new dialouge, even the scenes in which only Oedekerk is talking.  He specifically shot his own scenes with different dialogue so that his lips wouldn’t match up with the dubbing of real lines.  Oedekerk did all the voices with the exception of the only female in the movie.  Again, I don’t really have the words to describe this dialogue anymore than I have words to describe the movie as a whole but that is just the type of film it is.

I think Steve Oedekerk is a really funny guy and appreciate many of the movies he has made.  He has often collaborated with Jim Carrey and I’m not sure which one influences the other when that happens.  He directed Carrey in his second Ace Ventura movie and I have always thought that was the funnier film of the two.  He later reunited with Carrey as a writer for Bruce Almighty and he will be working with him again for an upcoming movie called Ricky Stanicky. Based on their prior collaborations I really do think these guys were made to make movies together and look forward to what they might do.  I have been really disappointed in Carrey lately who just really seems to be out of the limelight these days.  He is a really talented comedian and actor so I hope his next collaboration with Oedekerk gets him back on top.

This movie is undoubtedly as goofy as any movie can get, but that’s what makes it fun. It’s also what makes it a perfect movie to watch on 420 but that is beside the point.  You will never see another movie like this and you might not know what to make of it if you do see it.  I think it is hilarious and will walk around for weeks after seeing it quoting lines from the film.  The movie ends with a preview for a sequel that never happened.  For years I had hoped it would eventually come out and for a while it was something always listed as being in production.  Sadly it never happened though and at this point it is safe to assume it will never happen.  Still, it appeared to be on its way to being just as awesome as this one was.

I only recommend this movie to certain people and even then I do so with reservations.  This movie isn’t for everyone but I would consider it a cult classic and one I will still laugh at as an old man one day.  No one will ever “tell you of the significance” of this movie because it is hardly significant at all.  It is a very funny movie though that you will either love or hate with a passion.  Watch at your own risk and let me know what you think about it.  I won’t tell you it is worth your time but will admit I think it was more than worth mine.

AMBER’S REVIEW

This movie is hilarious. I don’t care if you don’t get it, and hate it. THIS MOVIE IS HILARIOUS. It makes little to no sense at all, but isn’t that the genius of it all?

This poster is beyond ridiculous, just like the movie. There is a gradient in the title and a STARBURST! He is using gopher chucks! Which he does in the movie; see, I told you it made no sense. I’m sorry I can’t really do this one, it’s just too funny and not serious.

NEXT MOVIE: L.A. Confidential (1997)

 

Theon Greyjoy

We have had a surge of traffic since I wrote about who was torturing Theon and why.  So I thought I would offer a bit of elaboration to the answer.  It’s simple really; Theon is the most hated person in the Realm north of the neck.  He is a traitor to the cause he fought for, a despised son of his own people, and as far as anyone in the Realm knows he is the evil bastard that murdered the Stark boys in cold blood.  Theon has had a sad and unfortunate life that he has only made worse by a bunch of bold decisions that blew up in his face.

I have always pitied Theon as a character.  Yes he absolutely deserves everything that happens to him but he had reasons for everything he did.  Theon was sent to the Starks as a hostage at a very young age.  As he grew up in the North he was raised differently than he would have been on the Iron Islands.  He is treated well but is always an outsider with no real place in the household he lived in. He may have referred to Lord Eddard as his real father on the show but this is never the case in the book. Eddard was always well aware of the fact he might have to threaten to kill Theon in order to keep his father in line and was generally cold to the boy.  Robb was the only one who showed any interest in him and the two became very close friends.  When Robb sent Theon as an envoy to his father he made a grave mistake.  Theon was loyal to Robb, but at the same time had a sense of longing for acceptance from his father. His father wasn’t accepting of him though. When he arrived his father simply saw a soft and foolish boy who had different values and customs from his own.  When acceptance was so clearly unavailable to him he became desperate to achieve it and did things in order to gain his father’s respect.  He thought he would be a hero to his people by capturing Winterfell but they had not told him to do so and left him on his own when he got there. He deliberately disobeyed his father with his actions and that was frowned upon, all he did was create more trouble for them. When he captured Winterfell the people who had known him his whole life turned on him.  He was the enemy as soon as he climbed over the walls and when he took the castle he was suddenly surrounded by hostiles with limited men to keep them in order.  Bad things happened; women were raped, sacrifices were made to the Drowned God, and men were killed in the taking of the castle. The people of Winterfell became increasingly hostile and Theon felt the heat and pressure of the decision he had made. When he faked the death of Bran and Rickon he put a target on his back for every person in the castle and the entire North for that matter.

What isn’t part of the show at all is the fact that the Bastard of Bolton was his prisoner at the time in the guise of Reek. He had been captured by Sir Rodrik and was in the dungeons awaiting Robb’s justice.  Theon freed him and allowed him to enter his service because he was already short of men. Reek/Ramsey Snow was the one who put the idea of killing the miller boys in Theon’s head and he knows the Stark children are still alive but he is the only one that does.  When Theon’s sister leaves him hanging, “Reek” offers to gather up some men for him if he is released.  Theon lets him go without knowing who he really is and the Bastard of Bolton comes back with his father’s full garrison.  He destroys the unsuspecting northern army outside of Winterfell who think they are coming to aid the siege.  When the battle is done Theon again makes a bad decision and lets them into the castle where they promptly sack Winterfell and burn it to the ground.  Theon is taken prisoner and we don’t hear about him again till book five and by then things have gone very badly for him. What Theon didn’t know was that the Boltons had already changed sides and all he did was give them an opportunity to destroy the strong hold of their new enemies.

The Bolton’s are the evil men of the North.  Their sigil is a flayed man and their ancestors were known to skin their enemies and wear their skins as cloaks.  These are practices that have been outlawed but are still rumored to go on.  Roose Bolton is a very evil man but he is much more deceptive and cunning than his bastard son.  Ramsey has a brutality and immaturity to match the evilness that runs through his veins.  He likes to capture women and hunt them for sport.  He just enjoys the sport of torture and mind games.  After he captures Theon he subjects him to the worst he is capable of.  He lets him escape a few times just to give him hope and then punishes him severely every time he catches him.  He knocks out or breaks all of his teeth, he flays then cuts off several fingers and toes, and he cuts off “that other thing” which Theon can’t bring himself to mention directly but it is implied that his manhood was removed.  When the Bastard flays Theon’s fingers the pain is so bad that Theon will beg him to remove the digit.  A couple of times he takes it upon himself to simply bite the digit off but he is punished severely for doing so.

Theon is presumed dead by his own people but even if they knew he was alive they wouldn’t lift a finger to help him.  There is a power struggle coming to the Iron Islands and Theon would only complicate matters by being alive.  Nobody wants him there and he is the rightful heir. If he had managed to escape Winterfell and return to his home he probably would have been killed by one of his uncles seeking to supplant his place as heir.  Asha (Yara) might help him but she doesn’t have the means to do so and might not even if she did.  She sees Theon as a foolish boy who spent too much time in the greenlands and doesn’t have what it takes to lead the Iron Born.

In the North Theon is now Theon Turncloak, he is literally the most hated man of the region and every single citizen wants his head on a spike. The Bastard knows this and knows that literally no one will care what happens to him.  He is also free to do whatever he wants because the King is unable to get back to the North and there is no authority there after the fall of Winterfell. Theon will not get away from the Bastard of Bolton and after a while he doesn’t even want to.  He becomes so tormented and manipulated that he develops a case of Stockholm syndrome and wants nothing more than to simply not be hurt anymore than necessary.  He becomes the Bastard’s dog and is even allowed to sleep with his dogs if he is very good.

I don’t know what the show will continue to do with Theon but we are probably in for more torture scenes as they drag this storyline out.  There really isn’t anywhere for the story line to go unless they change everything dramatically and it seems too late for that. There is much to happen before Theon is ever allowed out of the dungeons and I’m interested to see how they keep things up until then.

This is a rushed post and admittedly not my best but I hope this answers some of the questions so many are asking right now.  If I have missed anything feel free to leave a comment and ask questions.

 

The Bear and The Maiden Fair

Warning, spoilers are all through this post. Read at your own risk. 

There are so many questions set out in this episode. First of all, if you want to know about who is torturing Theon then read this. The answer is no different.  If you would like to know why then formulate your own theories.  There is much to be discussed about the psychological issues going on with the Bastard of Bolton.  He is evil, pure unadulterated evil that simply takes pleasure in hurting others.  Theon is a hated character and a prized victim that fell into his lap and he can literally do whatever he wants with him. It’s as simple as that, the guy gets off on hurting the lordling that nobody would bother to ransom. He will keep torturing Theon for no other reason than he just enjoys hurting people and he can hurt Theon as much as he wants with no one to stop him.

Robb’s Baby

This part of the show really bothers me. If nothing else the one this that is really important in this story and series is tradition and nobility.  Robb broke his vows but he would NEVER have done it with a commoner from Valaryia. Such things are just not done in the world of Fire and Ice.  In the books he does break his vow to House Frey by bedding and then marrying a western woman of Noble birth.  She and Robb are truly in love but do not conceive a child.  Later we find out that her mother was in cahoots with Tywin Lannister the whole time and giving her daughter “moon tea” in the guise of a fertility potion.  For those of you who don’t know, “moon tea” is the morning after pill for the ladies of Westros. So Robb never conceives a child in the book and has no true heir to follow him.  I do not know what the show is intending to do with this pregnancy and will be interested to see where it goes.

Sansa and Tyrion

This is being drawn out much more than it ever was in the books.  In the book Sansa had no idea she was being wed to Tyrion until she was ushered down the aisle in what she suddenly realized was a wedding gown.  Tyrion was always kind to Sansa but she was much too guarded to ever trust him.  It is a shame as Tyrion is one of the only truly real good guys in this story and she is simply a naive and silly girl. Their marriage will be a very unhappy one in which Tyrion cannot bring himself to bed this unwilling child and Sansa’s nightmare of a life keeps getting worse.

The Hound Capturing Arya

For all this guy’s flaws he is a sucker for all Stark women.  He was hopelessly in love and obsessed with Sansa Stark long before he crossed paths with Arya, and I think the opportunity was just too good to pass up for him. In Arya I think he sees a kindred spirit that he develops a strange sort of respect for.  Despite the impression he gives off, the Hound is a true and honest person. He is rough and angry at the world but he has a strange sense of honor that few ever recognize in him. He did many evil things but simply in the service of an evil lord. He is loyal to a fault and you can’t hold that against him. The Hound will take Arya and in attempt to get himself in the good graces of the Wolf King. It will be a fruitless measure as the downfall of the King of the North will coincide with his efforts.  It will be interesting to see where the show takes Arya from there.

 

A Knight’s Tale

Year: 2001
Directed By: Brian Helgeland
Written By: Brian Helgeland

RYAN’S REVIEW

I feel the need to begin this one with a disclaimer; I know it’s a silly movie.  It came out when I was in high school and despite the fact that at the time I was already established as a movie snob I still liked it.  After all, this movie was specifically made for people my age and although my instincts told me to hate it I still became enamored with the fun of the film.  There is nothing serious about this movie but that is obvious from the very beginning when the crowd at the joust is chanting a Queen song.  I liked that they blended classic rock and contemporary comedy with the medieval theme and I think this movie is great for just sitting back and enjoying from time to time.

This movie has a great cast and I think they all have great chemistry that only makes their performances better.  Heath Ledger was a terrific actor that died much too young.  He was just coming into his own as an actor and had he lived might be one of the most sought after leading men of the day.  When this movie came out he was just beginning to really break out.  He had burst onto the scene with 10 Things I Hate About You and then co-starring with pre-crazy Mel Gibson in The Patriot. This movie was his first leading role and I think he was a great choice.  It’s a movie made for his target audience at the time which was specifically the age I was when the movie came out.  His entourage in the movie was made up of great actors as well and he had great chemistry with them.  This was the first movie I had ever seen Paul Bettany in and I really think he stole every scene he was in.  He brought life to what might have otherwise been a dismal movie and I have been a big fan ever since.  His career hasn’t been as big as I think it should be and that continues to confuse me. However I think Bettany is very talented and would really like to see more of him.  I think Alan Tudyk is very funny, especially in this film.  He plays the dumb guy that is quick to anger and I think he is hilarious.  When he is threatening Bettany with violence if he betrays them and can’t even find words to describe what he will do to him I laugh every time.  ”PAIN, lots of pain!” is all he can say and I think it’s so funny.  Re-watching the movie this time I specifically spent a lot of time watching Mark Addy.  I like Addy and think he has been great in many movies but it’s funny to look back and watch him in a role like this after seeing him play King Robert on HBO’s Game of Thrones.  I thought Addy was excellent in that part and it’s interesting to see him in such a different role.

As for the other actors in this film I think Rufus Sewell was good enough as the bad guy.  I do think he is the weakest of all the actors in the movie but maybe it’s just because he is playing the guy nobody is supposed to like. He has that creepy eye thing going on that makes him a good villain, I can relate to his problem as my eyes tend to look the same way once I have had a few too many drinks. One thing I am still curious about twelve years later is “what’s up with Shannyn Sossamon?” This was her first role in a film and I thought the sky was the limit for her afterwards.  I don’t know that she does anything really flashy acting wise but she is such a beautiful woman I figured we would see her all over the place in time. Sadly it hasn’t happened and I don’t know why.  She is still out there but hasn’t done anything really significant in the longest time. Barely worth mentioning is the role of James Purefoy who has a small but significant role in the film.  I only really think he is worth mentioning because he is part of The Following right now and that’s gotten plenty of buzz.

This movie makes a lot of references to The Canterbury Tales but this is not The Knight’s Tale from the collection of stories.  However I still like the references because when the movie came out I was an English 4 Honors class and we spent a lot of time going over the work of Geoffrey Chaucer.  I like that Bettany plays the part of Chaucer and that he mentions immortalizing the summoner and the pardoner in fiction.  Which of course, anybody familiar with the work of Chaucer will remember those two were immortalized as wicked men. Though nothing about this movie is based in fact other than references to Chaucer and the Black Prince of Wales they did loosely make an effort.  There is chapter of Chaucer’s life in which nobody really knows what he was doing and in this story we are seeing what the writer imagined he might have been doing.  Totally fiction but something fun to play with as a writer and a lot of fun to watch as a viewer.

This movie received mixed reviews when it came out specifically because of its use of contemporary classic rock and 70′s style.  I think that was part of what made the movie so much fun though and I still enjoy watching it.  I might be partial to the movie because of my age when it came out but I still think there is plenty to enjoy about this one today. You can’t take it too seriously or you are doomed.  It’s worth your time because it gives us a chance to see an actor that we can’t see anymore and because Paul Bettany was really exceptional. This movie is a lot of fun and if you get an opportunity to see it you should hang out with it for a while and enjoy.

AMBER’S REVIEW

I have always liked this movie. I think it’s nice to have a movie that is set in this time period and is a funny take on it instead of serious one. I really miss that guy, Heath Ledger. He was so attractive and one hell of an actor.

This isn’t a horrible poster. I don’t think that you really know what the movie is about at all, but not really in a good way. I just feel like the poster is trying to capitalize on Ledger’s beauty. The typography is nice, but not really Knight-like at all. I definitely like the movie more than this poster.

NEXT MOVIE: Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)